


Five Times Yassen Was a Cat, and One Time He Wasn't

by theyre_my_babies



Series: Alex Rider: Five Times Alex and Yassen Were In Love [1]
Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Cat, Five And One, M/M, Oh Dear, alive!Yassen Gregorovich, cat shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 22:33:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4454966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyre_my_babies/pseuds/theyre_my_babies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just what it says on the tin.<br/>(8/22: changed the second chapter to second part of the series.)</p><p>(I took off the underage warning because if you read the tags and/or 1. of the third part of the series it ends up not applying)</p><p>Crossed-posted on fanfic.net</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Yassen Was a Cat, and One Time He Wasn't

1.

“Yassen get off the furniture.”

Ben paused mid-sentence and turned from his phone argument with Jason to stare at Alex, who was glaring at his cat.

“Excuse me,” Ben said, “but did you name your cat Yassen?”

Alex glanced at him. “Yes?”

Ben shook his head. “Just. Wh-?”

“If Harry Potter can name his middle child after Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore, I can name my cat after Yassen Gregorovich,” Alex declared, going back to glaring at the cat.

Ben stared for another minute, then shook his head and went back to arguing over whether or not pineapple should be allowed on pizza.

~~~

2.

“Yassen _this is not the time_ ,” Alex whined, poking at his cat, who had hopped up onto the keyboard of his laptop.

"Cat problems again?" Ben asked sympathetically.

"Yes," Alex groaned. "I'm in the middle of telling off government agents over secure intranet chat and Yassen just sent them like eight hearts and a winky face."

Ben laughed. "Tell them you were interrupted by your live-in assassin," he suggested.

Alex stared at him for a second, then grinned. "My live-in risen-from-the-dead assassin."

~~~

3.

"Yassen that suit was specifically tailored so I could fight in it," Alex moaned from his bedroom. "What am I supposed to wear to the gala tonight?"

Ben, who had just gotten home from a physical therapy appointment, ducked his head in. "What happened?"

"Yassen just violated the wearability of the suit I was supposed to be kicking ass in tonight by rolling around in it,” Alex mourned. “And now I am Cinderella and I have nothing to wear to the ball.”

Ben glanced at the open closet door behind Alex. “Alex, I can see at least three other suits in your closet from here, and I know that all of your suits are specifically tailored so you can fight in them because MI6 pays for it and Crawley won’t stop whining about the bills.”

Alex looked at Ben and blinked. “But this one makes my eyes stand out.”

Yassen stared at Ben from the pillow. Ben stared at Yassen.

“Alex, _no one cares_.”

~~~

4.

“Yassen I _did not ask if you wanted to_!” Alex yelled.

“You okay?” Ben asked cautiously as he popped his head around the doorframe to the living room.

Alex gave a whine. “He needs to go to the vet to get shots but I can’t get him in the carrier!”

“You basically dismantled the most prominent criminal organization in the world at the age of fourteen,” Ben said in a deadpan. “You can get your cat in the cat carrier for the vet.”

Alex glared at his cat, who looked quite smug from the back of the couch, then held out his arms to show them to Ben. They were covered in scratches. Ben raised his eyebrows.

“You should send him to work for MI6,” Ben said.

Alex glared at Ben. “Never. Those monsters would destroy him,” he said.

Ben raised one eyebrow higher. “He can hold his own,” Ben said, indicating the scratches with a nod.

“He’s _mine_ ,” Alex growled.

~~~

5.

“ _Yassen no stop what are you doing how are you even here-_ ”

“Alex?” Ben said quietly through the mic.

“Ben did you get my cat signed up for MI6?” Alex hissed back.

“No??”

“Ben _why is my cat in the ventilation system of this warehouse_?”

“Are you sure it’s him?”

“I know my own cat!” And Ben could hear Alex glaring at him through the earpiece.

“Fine!” Ben huffed. “But then how did he get from a flat in London to the ventilation shafts in a warehouse in Paraguay?”

“I thought you would know, you’re the one who was going to leave him at the nonexistent mercy of MI6! -Oh no, shouldn’t have been talking. Ben, if I make it out of here alive-”

~~~

He did make it out alive. So did Yassen. Ben never found out what he was going to say.

~~~

And 1.

“Yassen stop, Ben’s gonna be home soon-”

Ben walked in the front door to hear noises from behind the kitchen door. Laughing, whispering - He paused. Those were not the normal sounds that Alex made when he was talking to his cat. There, a groan. That was standard. “Yassen stop” was also a fairly common phrase.

“Ben’s gonna be home soon,” though? That was a new one.

“Alex?” Ben said, opening the kitchen door. “Is everything -”

Ben stared at the scene in front of him, shocked out of his sentence. Alex was leaning against the kitchen counter, face burning, and - _was that a hickey_ \- and pressing him towards the counter was a man. A man with a gun, which, surprisingly, considering the situation, was not currently pointing at Ben’s face. Still, it was there, and still, there was an extremely conspicuous duffel bag sitting on the kitchen floor. Also, unless Ben was reading the situation wrong (he wasn’t), Alex and this strange man were holding each other very close and had been making out until Ben opened the door.

“Alex,” Ben said calmly, “there is a strange man in our kitchen.”

If Alex hadn’t already been blushing, he would have now. As it was, he tightened his arms around the man.

“Ben, meet Yassen Gregorovich, my supreme enemy who I sometimes make out with in secret,” Alex said in a very, very quiet voice. “Yassen, meet Ben, my flatmate and sometimes mission partner.”

Ben and Yassen glared at each other, Yassen’s arms as protective around Alex as alex’s were around him.

Alex got uncomfortable with the glaring after a moment and broke in. “You’ve both saved my life,” he said, somewhat louder than before. “So you’re not allowed to hate each other. Also, my cat is going to be hungry very soon, and if either of you prevent me from feeding him, he will claw your eyes out and I’d really not like that to happen.”


End file.
